The year of a nagreboshi

My favorite thing to do at night......... is look at the stars. Sounds so....idk how to describe it, but it is. My dream house is going to have a glass ceiling so I can just see the stars. I'm awake driving home at 12 am thinking to myself WOW the stars are GORGEOUS tonight. I stand outside for awhile just looking at them. Looking for Orion's belt, the bigger dipper, the little dipper, and other constellations I know.

This year, 2008, has been like a nagreboshi this year. What is a nagareboshil? It is shooting star in Japanese. It has gone by super fast. Seems all like a blur. Yet full of wishes. I've been wishing a lot this year. One of my good friends asked me what my New Years resolutions were. I replied I really don't have one. She asked me why? and I replied I don't know. It ended right there. I wish for simple things yet those are small, but a new years resolution, I didn't know what to do. Yeah the usual do better in school, work harder, lose 20lbs, those kind of things but those are the same each year and this is A NEW YEARS resolution. I guess my new years resolution is to understand. This year especially has been a confusing year. Full of questions and not understanding any of our school work.

Like my old post, I'm always driving along on the road watching how everything is going by super fast. The stars, the trees, the houses, the other cars, and most of all myself. It doesn't seem like I'm moving yet the outside is moving like crazy. This feeling of speed isn't what I wanted in 2008. I feel more crushed for more time. I need to figure out who I am still. I need to figure out what I want to be. If I don't get this soon, how am I supposed to figure out a major. I've been emotionally weak this year. I thought I was getting a little stronger but yet I'm not. I haven't been crying but....... I feel more lost.

Take a step outside, look up, and look at the stars. They stay still. Just that one moment. It felt like time stopped. Just me and my wishes. I haven't seen a nagareboshi before but at that moment I felt like one. A shooting star flying through the night. No where to go, rarely seen, and yet shines.....

Happy (early) New Year and have a great 2009